One of the guilty pleasures of travelling–well maybe it isn’t really a pleasure, but I do feel guilty–is reading about ridiculous gifts and gizmos in the airline magazines. Home to such indispensable items as the moving Jellyfish lamp (imagine a lava lamp with sea creatures) or the inflatable sumo wrestler suit (you too can look like the comic relief in a B-Film comedy), these catalogs are a cross between The Sharper Image and one of those fake commercials they used to run on Saturday Night Live.

I thought I’d seen the worst that capitalism could create until our most recent trip. There it was, tucked between the Wi-Fi T-shirt and the Laser Comb: The Potty Putter. I cannot top the description the marketing folks came up with for this gem, so here it is, verbatim and unvarnished:

You know those days when you’ve eaten something that hasn’t agreed with you and you can’t be too far away from the bathroom? Well, this is the perfect companion for such occasions: The Toilet Golf. The package includes: a putter with articifial turf, a miniature club, golf balls and flag. It also comes with a very useful sign to hang on the bathroom door “Do Not Disturb: Golf Game in Progress”.

The fun continues on the product’s website with this bit of salesmanship:

The Potty Putter is a true innovation in toilet entertainment and the perfect gift for the golf (or toilet) enthusiast in your life!

Toilet entertainment? Is that someone’s job? Help me Lord…

Finally, for those in need of a visual, try this link–warning, it might make you desperately need to have one of these things or send you screaming into the night. I don’t want to hear about it, if it’s the former!